Weight loss now has an unspoken asterisk. When bodies change rapidly or noticeably, assumptions often arise—and so does the inclination to pose one potentially delicate question: Did medication play a part?
GLP-1 drugs such as Ozempic and Wegovy are stretching the boundaries of conversations about bodies, leaving many uncertain about what is appropriate or polite to inquire, experts state. Here’s how to navigate these discussions.
Think about your motives
Dr. Whitney Casares, a pediatrician in Portland, still recalls the time an acquaintance whispered those four loaded words: “Are you taking Ozempic?” Casares was, in fact, on a GLP-1 medication, but she wasn’t broadcasting this news to those on the fringes of her life.
“I could tell, from the way she was saying it, that it was like, ‘We’ve all been talking about you, and I’m the designated person sent to find out all the details,’” she says. “That felt awful, because it wasn’t someone I was close to, and it wasn’t someone sharing anything about their own journey. They just directly asked me about mine.”
Before even considering such a conversation, Casares advises asking yourself why you want to know. “Are you asking because you’re jealous of that person?” she says. “Are you asking because you also want to take a GLP-1, or are you asking because you’re nosy and need to know what’s going on in everyone else’s life?”
Why you’re asking is the most crucial factor in determining what’s acceptable to say, agrees Rachel Goldman, a psychologist and clinical assistant professor in the department of psychiatry at NYU Grossman School of Medicine. If you’re asking because you’re trying to figure out if a GLP-1 is suitable for you, “I think it’s okay,” she says. “But if you’re just asking out of curiosity, you don’t need to know.”
The way you phrase it matters
If you’re genuinely trying to understand and learn from someone’s experience, make that clear from the start. Aim to be mindful, compassionate, and respectful, Goldman says, and initiate the conversation in a kind, non-assuming manner.
You might phrase it like this, for instance: “I’ve noticed you’ve been making some healthier choices. I’ve been thinking about starting a GLP-1, and I’m wondering if you’ve thought about it.” That gives the other person an escape route—they can easily brush off or end the conversation if they don’t want to engage.
If you know for sure someone is taking weight-loss medication, Goldman adds, you could approach it like this: “I’ve been struggling with my weight. Would you be open to discussing your experience?” That way, “You’re already showing your vulnerability, which then creates a safer space for the other person to open up if they want to,” she says.
Tone is important, and curiosity always prevails over judgment. Revealing that you’re asking for a personal reason “is very different to me than someone coming up and saying, ‘Are you on a GLP-1?’ with a smirk or an air of, ‘It would be shameful if you were,’” Casares says.
If someone has been open about their journey with GLP-1s, it’s okay to ask specific follow-up questions, she adds. However, one caution: Don’t bring up the subject loudly or in front of others. “This should be a private conversation where people don’t feel like they’re cornered and have to either lie or disclose something they’re not comfortable sharing,” Casares says.
What to say if you’re the one being asked
Casares is pushing herself to be more open about her GLP-1 usage, partly to help reduce the shame and stigma that sometimes surround her experience with the medication. She’s found that people typically start the conversation like this: “Wow, you look great! I didn’t even recognize you.”
“When that happens, I usually respond with, ‘Yeah, I’ve been taking a GLP-1, and it’s going really well. I love it.’ I try to say that as straightforwardly as possible,” she says. If she can tell from the look in their eyes that they want to know more, she follows up like this: “I’ve had a lot of people who’ve asked me a lot of questions about GLP1s because they’re interested in them. I’m an open book. If you’re interested, I can tell you all about them.”
Of course, not everyone wants to make their private health information public—and you’re not obligated to do so. Goldman regularly helps her clients come up with sample scripts for what to say when someone asks them if they’re on a GLP-1, because many feel caught off guard when it happens and don’t want to share.
Many have reported success in ending the conversation with lines like these: “I’m making healthier choices. I’m going to the gym. I’m being more mindful of what I’m eating, or I’m working with a healthcare professional.”
“What I tell my clients is, ‘You’re not lying,’” Goldman says. “‘You are making healthier choices. You are working with a healthcare professional. You are being more mindful about what you’re eating.’ It’s entirely up to you what you want to share.”
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