Grief signifies more than just sadness; it embodies transformation. It’s a profound experience of loss or change, impacting every part of us and revealing hidden aspects of ourselves. Rather than a simple emotional response, grief acts as a seismic event, reshaping our very essence and creating space for new beginnings. It stretches time, guiding us through the process of relinquishing our past selves, shattered hopes, and cherished illusions. While undeniably painful, grief holds immense power, potentially guiding us back to a state of wholeness if embraced.
Despite its constant presence today, grief often goes unacknowledged. The relentless pace of modern life, the pressure to be productive, and the emphasis on performance have overshadowed it. Mourning seems to have become an inconvenience. In a society fixated on moving forward, we’ve largely forgotten how to truly experience and process sorrow.
Historically, grief has been revered as a significant rite of passage. Ancient traditions viewed it not as a problem to be solved, but as a feeling to be experienced. Hindu and Vedic rituals involve entire communities in days or weeks of prayers and mantras. Many Indigenous tribes in the Americas observe grief through communal ceremonies, incorporating crying, singing, storytelling, and symbols of transformation like hair cutting. These acts are not merely symbolic; they serve as energetic pathways, aiding the soul’s journey through the transitional space between loss and rebirth.
Even Abrahamic faiths have established timelines and structures for grieving. Jewish mourning rituals like shiva provide both the mourner and the community with a framework of presence and reflection. Islam prioritizes prayer and remembrance over several days. These customs emphasize that grief should be honored, not rushed or kept private.
However, when cultures abandon these rituals and grief becomes invisible, the consequences can be severe. Consider , where the decline of Shinto and Buddhist death rituals has coincided with a surge in overwork and suicide. The body recognizes when grief is suppressed, and the spirit remembers what the mind tries to ignore.
The COVID-19 pandemic of 2020 highlighted this reality. In its aftermath, we grieve not only for lost lives but also for the futures we envisioned. The pandemic exposed a collective pain that had long been buried beneath deadlines, distractions, and digital overload. Combined with the ongoing pressures of burnout, racial injustice, economic instability, and social division, we are left with a profound, unspoken suffering that lingers beneath the surface. We struggle to keep pace in a world that refuses to slow down, even as our hearts are breaking.
Millennials and Gen Z are particularly affected. The “quiet quitting” phenomenon is not about laziness but rather spiritual exhaustion. It represents a choice to prioritize peace over performing in a system that devalues their humanity. The workplace, once a source of identity and community, has become another source of isolation. This disconnection allows grief to fester, potentially leading to illness.
Suppressing grief leads to its accumulation within the nervous system, cells, and body’s memory. Research indicates that chronic, unresolved grief weakens the immune system, disrupts sleep and digestion, and increases the risk of long-term mental health issues. In extreme instances, grief can even cause physical heart problems, such as takotsubo cardiomyopathy, also known as “broken heart syndrome.” Ignoring grief comes at a significant cost.
However, an alternative approach exists. We need new ways to grieve that emphasize community, ritual, and reverence, rather than isolation or shame. We can also choose to confront our grief directly by scheduling time to sit with sorrow. We can create sacred spaces for grieving through actions such as lighting candles, listening to meaningful music, crying, screaming, journaling, and moving our bodies to release pent-up emotions. Grief, while deeply personal, does not have to be experienced alone. Sharing our sadness with others, even in small ways, can be powerful – simply acknowledging that difficult things have happened. Sharing fragments of our truth can create new neural pathways in the brain and heart, making connection possible and fostering a new kind of intimacy based on shared experiences. Whether through trusted friendships, support groups, or spaces specifically for those navigating loss, community provides support and understanding. This allows us to transform from victims of loss into active participants in our own healing.
Acknowledging and releasing grief can facilitate a reconnection with nature. Allowing the wind to touch our skin, the earth to ground our steps, and the sun to remind us that life continues. We can reintegrate, knowing that we have released energy and honored our truth.
This is how we begin again and transform pain and confusion into strength.
Now more than ever, we need to reclaim grief as a sacred practice, remembering the wisdom of our ancestors: grief is not separate from life but an integral part of it. We are being called back to our humanity – to our hearts, our tenderness, and our capacity for compassion.
To honor grief is to honor the complexity of the human experience, cultivating a reverence for the inevitable flow of emotions, including joy, both individually and collectively.
Grief is not the end but a threshold, beyond which lies freedom.
Excerpted from by Devi Brown. Copyright © 2025 by Devi Brown. Reprinted with permission of Balance Publishing, an imprint of Hachette Book Group. All rights reserved.
“`
