Across various platforms—from cable news and social media to personal interactions—individuals appear to be in a state of heightened agitation. This manifests as anger directed at commentators, a descent into anxiety over potentially uncertain events, and frustration expressed towards loved ones.
Indeed, the world presents genuine challenges that merit our attention and can justifiably elicit feelings of anger or anxiety.
However, the reality is that while we cannot always dictate circumstances, we *can* choose our response to them. This choice, in turn, has transformative power.
The author asserts that an “overreaction epidemic” is underway, and to tackle it, we must first acknowledge that the core issue is not our emotions themselves, but rather our methods of processing them. Instead of practicing regulation, we react impulsively. Instead of pausing for reflection, we respond aggressively. Instead of deliberate processing, we panic. This pattern ultimately complicates life for ourselves and those around us.
As the director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, the author has dedicated decades to studying why some individuals navigate life’s complexities with composure while others become overwhelmed. The key distinction is not that calm individuals experience easier lives, but that they have developed the capacity to manage their emotions.
This learned ability is termed “emotion regulation,” and it is a skill that can be acquired, rather than an inherent character trait.
For those who perceive external pressures as overwhelming, the following strategies are offered to prevent impulsive reactions to news reports, social media posts, or even family gatherings:
Monitor your news and social media diet
It is unsurprising that excessive consumption of news or prolonged social media browsing can be provocative, as these platforms are designed to be addictive. Fear and outrage generate engagement, which in turn drives profitability. The more stimulated one becomes, the longer they remain engaged, leading to a deterioration of emotional well-being.
The recommended solution is to establish boundaries. Limit checking cable news or social media to once or twice daily. Prioritize credible sources that emphasize verified facts over sensational headlines. Furthermore, recognize that truly critical information will inevitably surface, while less significant matters can be disregarded.
Recognize what is in your control
A primary factor contributing to escalating anxiety or anger is the misconception of losing control. A crucial step in counteracting this feeling involves distinguishing between what lies within your control and what does not.
If action can be taken regarding a situation, proceed. However, if direct intervention is not possible, endeavor to redirect your focus. It might be possible to undertake actions that offer some positive impact, even if a complete resolution cannot be achieved single-handedly.
For a simple assessment, ask yourself: Is this my responsibility to resolve? If not, release the concern.
Take a breath
When distressed, our nervous systems often respond preemptively before our brains fully process the situation. This leads to a racing heart, tense muscles, and a readiness for explosive reaction. Such physiological cues indicate a need for one or two deep breaths. Slowing one’s breathing communicates to the nervous system: De-escalate until a rational response can be formulated.
Implement this technique: Inhale for four seconds, hold for four, then exhale for six. Repeat this three times before reacting. A noticeable difference will be experienced.
Name what you’re feeling
An expression like “I’m pissed off!” lacks the precision needed to understand the true emotional experience. Are you frustrated? Disappointed? Betrayed? Annoyed? Research indicates that individuals capable of accurately labeling their emotions are more adept at managing them.
Therefore, prior to an impending outburst, pause and identify the specific emotion. This practice could prevent sending an ill-considered message or reacting with aggression towards a driver.
Change the way you think about the situation
Once sufficient calm is achieved for clear thought and the emotion has been identified, it is time for a cognitive realignment. This introduces *reappraisal*—an empirically supported strategy that facilitates rethinking a situation in a manner that alters its emotional impact.
Rather than viewing a setback as a catastrophe, can it be perceived as a challenge? Instead of assuming someone harbors ill intent, might you consider they simply had a difficult day?
Studies show that individuals who consistently reappraise their emotions tend to experience reduced stress and anxiety, foster stronger relationships, and even report improved physical health.
This cognitive shift is not instantaneous, which underscores the initial importance of breathwork. However, once the primary emotional reaction subsides, reappraisal can enable a more productive, less impulsive progression.
Do something you enjoy
If your emotional state is nearing a breakdown point, a decisive step is to disengage. Seek outdoor environments. Engage in a game. Listen to music. Watch a comedic program. Contact a friend who brings laughter. Take a walk—or, as the author does, prepare a cup of coffee for someone.
This approach is not about avoidance, but about providing the brain and body an opportunity to reset. Engaging in enjoyable activities—particularly those involving movement or humor—is shown to interrupt cycles of stress and anxiety.
Consequently, if the automatic response is to continue endlessly browsing negative content online, resist that urge. Instead, engage in an enjoyable real-world activity. This will lead to enhanced mental clarity and a more balanced outlook.
Lean on people
Another advisable action is to seek support from others, including individuals whose perspectives may differ from your own.
Under stress, there is a tendency to retreat into insular groups. We vent to those who share our views and dismiss others. However, surrounding oneself with emotionally identical individuals does not build resilience; it merely intensifies stress. Instead, actively seek out diverse viewpoints. Connect with individuals who challenge you yet offer respect. Disagreement is not inherently perilous; isolation is.
Emotion regulation does not imply passive acceptance, indifference, silence, or feigning contentment when circumstances are difficult. It is an act of self-preservation—ensuring that anger, frustration, or sadness catalyzes effective action that brings about genuine change, rather than merely leading to exhaustion. Candidly: would not life improve if we all ceased exacerbating each other’s negative moods?
Consider: Can I view this differently? What useful action can I take? Then, make a thoughtful choice. Your future self, and those around you, will be grateful.
These views are solely those of the author and not those of the Yale School of Medicine.
