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Artificial intelligence has gradually integrated into our lives, often without explicit consent. Phone and computer updates now offer text message summaries, and predictive text anticipates our writing. We can use AI to generate , or seek advice from chatbots on difficult conversations or crafting emails.
Dating app companies are increasingly focusing on AI, aiming to address user frustrations and enhance safety. However, it’s uncertain whether current AI features will truly benefit daters in the long term.
With user numbers declining, dating apps are turning to AI to improve user experience. Bumble and Grindr have recently introduced AI features to attract and retain users. Bumble’s CEO, Lidiane Jones, has expressed hope that AI will “reduce the friction” in profile setup. Grindr aims to enhance user experience by incorporating AI into features like curated matches and identifying “gayborhoods.” Bumble’s “Concierge” and Grindr’s “Wingman” services allow users to leverage AI for tasks such as selecting pictures, creating profiles, matching, and messaging. Bumble is also working to by detecting fake and spam profiles.
Despite significant investments in AI, dating apps haven’t become more enjoyable. Their focus remains on the intricacies of the dating process they created, rather than providing a safer, more affirming, and humane experience. A indicates that most people feel burned out by dating apps. Match Group, owner of Tinder, Hinge, Match, and OKCupid, could coordinate efforts to ban abusers across its platforms, but this doesn’t seem to be a priority. The Markup reported an instance of a user reported for rape in 2020 remaining on Hinge for three years, continuing to drug and rape at least 15 others, highlighting this issue. (In October 2024, a Denver judge sentenced the man to 158 years to life in prison.)
These AI interventions may not improve the situation. They could lead to for daters, particularly younger ones who and struggle with in-person interactions. Introducing a bot might hinder their ability to develop resilience and valuable practice.
Many clients express dissatisfaction with the disconnect they feel from their matches on dating apps. Promising conversations can abruptly end without explanation, and ghosting, dishonesty, and being stood up are common concerns. Users often feel they are paying for features that promise better matches but yield the same results, leading to frustration with paid plans and the feeling of putting themselves out there without any return.
While a bot might assist with profiles or conversations, it’s questionable whether this materially improves the experience if the other person doesn’t engage meaningfully. In the case of Bumble’s Concierge service, if two bots are communicating, how can daters ascertain genuine connection?
Future generations may not long for AI-assisted “old-fashioned” dating. With an increasing number of completely, a fundamental shift in the dating app landscape is needed, one that prioritizes in-person meetings based on shared interests over internet personas. Utilizing AI to facilitate offline connections could be a welcome change.
Dating inherently involves allowing interactions to unfold naturally, embracing individual quirks, and accepting the risks and imperfections. Dating apps have long imposed their version of dating, often complicating rather than simplifying our experiences. The solution lies not in adding more technology but in using it to foster real-world connections.
There is an opportunity to improve dating. Real change will occur when dating apps prioritize meaningful conversations, connections, and relationships, while proactively removing bad actors and addressing abuse swiftly and permanently. If AI can contribute to these goals, it would be a positive development.
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