Interruptions are a major communication faux pas, though they don’t always arise for the same reasons. It’s possible that someone is interrupting due to neurodivergence and finds it “difficult to focus without speaking,” according to Jefferson Fisher, a Texas-based lawyer and author. In that case, allow them to speak, as they likely don’t intend to be rude.
However, sometimes the person you’re talking to will clearly make a conscious decision to interrupt you. Fisher explains that “What they’re saying is, ‘What I have to say is more important than what you have to say,’” Fisher points out. “In some sense, they’ve stomped on your self-esteem. They’ve put themselves above you.”
So, what should you do? We consulted experts about what to say when someone cuts you off.
Just keep talking.
If someone interrupts you, the first time, continue as if nothing happened. Jamila Musayeva, an etiquette expert, says that “If you take a pause, you allow the other person to intervene.” She adds, “It might sound like it’s rude to continue what you’re saying, but it establishes power. You’re not allowing them to cut into your message.” Maintaining your tone is crucial: avoid raising or mumbling. “You’re not showing them that you’re being triggered by it, and you’re not giving them the emotions or attention they’re looking for,” she says. This may be enough to get them to let you speak.
“Bob, I can’t hear you when you interrupt me.”
If the interruptions persist, it’s time to act. Use their name: “Names get people’s attention,” says Fisher. Also, the phrasing he suggests focuses on your experience: “It’s not me saying anything about you. It’s me saying it about me: ‘I can’t hear you.’” He has found that this often stops the interruptions.
“May I finish?”
People often mistakenly apologize when interrupted, saying things like, “Sorry, can I continue?” Avoid this, says Elise Powers, who runs a global communications training firm and frequently coaches clients on how to handle interruptions, because you did nothing wrong. Instead, ask to finish your thought. She suggests doing it “in a confident way, where almost no one is going to say, ‘No, you may not finish.’” It’s “polite, tactful, and professional—you’re not trying to alienate them.” Also, avoiding aggressive replies saves others from discomfort.
“John, I’ll turn it over to you when I finish my thought.”
Again, using their first name immediately gets their attention. Powers says that “You’re being really clear and setting their expectations.” “You’re putting yourself in control of the situation and giving them peace of mind: ‘I care about what you have to say, John. I want to hear it, so don’t worry about me not valuing your perspective.’” You’re simply prioritizing the order of discussion – you finish, then they share.
“I’d like to finish my thoughts—thanks for your patience.”
Even when you say you’re wrapping up, they might keep interrupting. That’s why body language is important, says Musayeva. She notes that when interrupted, people often shrink inwards, rolling shoulders and tucking necks. Instead, “Make sure you roll your shoulders backwards and drop them down, so it’s almost like an exaggerated movement,” she advises. Keep your chest out and neck elongated, with open and visible palms. “We want to show that we have command of the room,” Musayeva says.
“I want to make sure: Is this a conversation, or do you need me here only to listen?”
There are different levels of response to interruptions, and this isn’t the first step. But if it’s a recurring issue, Fisher likes this direct way of addressing it. “It tends to take care of it,” he says.
“There have been a few times lately, today included, where I’ve felt like I haven’t been able to share my thoughts completely.”
If you’re dealing with a repeat offender – a colleague who always interrupts – address it privately, suggests Powers.
After the meeting, tell them you feel unheard because they constantly jump in. “It’s worth having a conversation to understand why this is happening, and how you could both make efforts to reduce the likelihood of it happening again,” she says.
“Sarah, you were mentioning something about X, Y, or Z. Could you elaborate more on that?”
Bonus tip: What if a colleague is being interrupted? It depends. They might prefer to handle it themselves, so consider the situation. “There are some women who would feel like, ‘OK, is this guy just trying to be the quarterback for me? I don’t need a hero; I can handle this on my own,’” Powers says. In that case, approach them privately: “I noticed you weren’t able to finish your thoughts in the meeting today. Would it be helpful in the future if I jumped in?” Or, share your favorite interruption strategy: “Here’s something I’ve done when I’ve been cut off. I don’t know if it’ll be helpful for you, but I wanted to share it because I do want to hear what you have to say.”
Generally, it’s helpful to give the floor back to someone who’s been interrupted. Asking them to expand on their point is a good way to show interest and ensure they’re heard, without undermining them, says Powers.
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